BCI Parenting

One of the most significant journeys I had as a counselor began with a new client back in 2004. I had just graduated my master’s program and in walked in a mother who was desperate for help. The mom, Bethany, had been to many counselors trying to find out what was going wrong with her son. Her son, was then six years old. He had many serious symptoms for his age including aggression, lying, stealing, depression and hoarding foods. Bethany had adopted him at the age of one year and a half and he had never seemed “normal” to her.

            

 

 

 

After talking to Bethany for quite a while I began to discover that Bethany had many skills in “traditional parenting”. She was familiar with re-direction, positive reinforcement, praise, and even sticker charts. But she was getting no where. Based on his severe neglect as a child I suggested she get her son further evaluated for possible Reactive Attachment Disorder. Sure enough, he fit the diagnosis. But then to both of our surprises, Bethany began an entirely new journey: finding someone qualified to treat a child with this kind of severe diagnosis.

Again she went from counselor to counselor to try to find help for him. As a new clinician I felt completely helpless to offer any kind of guidance or support. Clinician after clinician told Bethany that this was the most sever case of RAD they had ever seen. Bethany was living with a child who was creating chaos beyond our imaginations. Bethany was living in terror, there was no peace in her home.

It was Bethany who stumbled across the book, Beyond Consequences Logic and Control: A Love-Based Approach to Helping Children with Severe Behaviors. After reading and making a complete paradigm shift in her thinking, she started using the principles. Bethany states that she began to see immediate results. After five years of beating her head against the wall, she was finally seeing a difference in the reduction of behavioral symptoms in her son. She was finally able to breathe in peace.

            

Of course after hearing of Bethany’s success, I read the book and started looking into this way of learning to parent differently. The Beyond Consequences Logic and Control book is based on attachment theory. There have been many theories that say they are based on attachment, however, this theory finds its roots in the “guru” of the theory John Bowlby. This technique is not militant, it does not demand from children, it is not harsh. This parenting is based on the idea that children are misbehaving because they are scared, they are fearful. They have experienced trauma beyond what any child should experience and they are in survival mode. Their misbehavior is based in this fear.

Have you been looking for someone to help your child with severe behavioral issues? We believe that we have the answer for you. It will be a lot of work. You will be required to work out your own issues that you wanted to keep hidden. We believe that you can only lead your child as far as you are willing to go. If you are ready to do the work, we are ready to take you there.

Spring 2009:

Bethany and I teach the classes together and we are both Certified to teach Beyond Consequences Parenting. Below is a list of our courses that we offer at Life Strategies. We offer many different formats to suit every need, whether you want the support of a group, or to do your own individual work in the privacy of a therapy session. It is up to you.

 

Life Strategies

ESTRATEGIAS DE LA VIDA

 

Fear

Love

From To

FOUNDATIONS COURSE

Spring 2009 Schedule

Choose one of the following 4 week courses!

 

April Thursday Classes

Dates: 2, 9,16, 23 of April

Time: 6:30—8:30 pm

 

May Friday Classes

Dates: 8,15, 22, 29 of May

Time: 6:30—8:30 pm

 

June Saturday Classes

Dates: 6, 13, 20, 27 of June

Time: 2:00—4:00 pm

 

Cost: $15 per week.

Location: Life Strategies,

410 E. Third Street, Suite 8, McMinnville

Call with questions: 503-435-4840

More information: www.life-vida.com

If you’re dealing with a child who is angry, oppositional, lying, stealing, hoarding, defiant, hostile or aggressive—we have a word of

hope for you.

 

There is a way to move through the fear in order to bring the light of love into the darkness of our children’s world. We have to stop feeding more fear into our families through the traditional approaches and we have to be willing to trust that our children are still creatures of love, despite their past experiences

of fear.

This parenting approach is based off the book,

Beyond Consequences, Logic and Control,

and is led by a

Certified Beyond Consequences Instructor:

 

Bethany Griffin

Would you like a love based approach to helping your children with severe behaviors?... 

Courses we offer:

FOUNDATIONS

COURSE

THERAPEUTIC

HEALING

IN-HOME COACHING

APPLICATIONS COURSE Part 1

SPA

GETAWAY

· Four week group class

· Discusses the four principles that are the foundation of the other classes

· Support from other parents of children with severe behaviors

· Taught by Bethany

· Offered on a monthly basis

· A prerequisite to all other classes

 

 

COST:      $15 per week **

 

· 10 week group course

· Based on book, Beyond Consequences Logic and Control, Volume 1

· Gives practical application to theory

· Support from other parents of children with severe behaviors

· Problem-solves specific behaviors

· Taught by both Bethany and Sandra

 

COST:     $30 per week

PREREQUISITE:  Foundations Course

**You will also be required to purchase the book, Beyond Consequences Logic and Control . This can be ordered from any bookstore or by clicking on  our parenting bookstore.

· Individual therapeutic work

· The goal is to provide healing for parent

· By appointment only

· Session is with Sandra who is a marriage and family therapist.

 

COST:     Sliding scale fee

· All day coaching in your home

· Teaching you how to do it in your own home, while the behavior is happening

· Extended interaction with team

· Behaviors are problem-solved in the moment and you are taught how to manage them

· Both Bethany and Sandra come to your home

 

COST:     Sliding fee scale

· Two day getaway to a spa hotel

· Educational workshop

· Therapeutic healing

· Support group with other parents

· Relaxation

· Led by Bethany and Sandra

 

COST:     Varies by date and location

 

APPLICATIONS COURSE Part II

· Ten week group course

· Based on book, Beyond Consequences Logic and Control, Volume 2

· Takes the material even deeper for new understanding

· Support from other parents of children with severe behaviors

· Problem-solve specific behaviors

· Taught by Bethany and Sandra

 

COST:     $30 per week

PREREQUISITE:  Foundations Course & Applications Course Part I

Summer 2009:

                           July—                     Foundations Course

                                           

                                 August—                Foundations Course

                                           

 

Fall 2009:

                           September—        Foundations Course

                                                                  Applications Course, Part 1

 

                                 October-                 Foundations Course

                                                                  Applications Course, Part 1 (cont.)

 

                                 November -           Foundations Course

                                                                  Applications Course, Part 1 (cont.)

 

Winter 2009:

                                 December—         Foundations Course     

 

                                 January—               Foundations Course

                                                                  Applications Course, Part 1

                                                                  Applications Course, Part 2

                                                                  Spa-getaway

 

410 E. Third Street, Suite 8

McMinnville, OR  97128

 

503-435-4840